Thursday, August 25, 2011

UPC - Utterly Pointless Crap

So seeing how I am moving to another country soon, I have obviously attempted to make arrangements for having my internet and TV lines disconnected. This has been a rather intresting display of complete incompetence from the staff at UPC.
The story begins with their website, which has these words of wisdom for the FAQ entry for cancelling and account "Call us on xxxxxxxx". So I did. I then sat for 30min waiting, while listening to a pleasantly calm, female voice telling me that if I had any unresolved issues I could call them. On the number which I had just used. "Please press 1 to press one." No shit sherlock...

After sitting for a good 20 minutes waiting, I was finally allowed to trudge my way through the abysmal phone system and talk to a support agent. At which point I was informed that in order to cancel my UPC account I had to specifically send them a regular, old-fashioned letter stating that I wanted the account closed. This she said, after spending 10min taking down everything from address to account number to confirm my identity.

Ok, so I send a letter. To the Internet Service Provider. I describe the exact dates I will be leaving, the dates I would like my connection terminated, my understanding of their ridiculous TOS and when they can pick up their routers and other crap. All of which should, must and have to take place at the end of the month, so I have time to do all the things I need to deal with in order to move country.

I then get a call from their technicians confirming that they will be picking it up. 3 weeks prior to the date I have requested. I say no. I then get a call from their sales department confirming that the connection will be terminated 2 weeks before the, now agreed with the technician, date. 1 week later I get *another* call from a technician saying they will be around to pick up their items later that day. While I am working.

Is the pattern beginning to show yet?
Over the next 2 weeks I get 2 more calls from technicians asking why I am not in when they try to pick up stuff. Each time I go over the situation. I want the connection removed on the 29th and the items picked up the 31st. Each time they state a completely different date and claim that "it has already been agreed on with you".
This Monday, I get back from work only to find my internet dead, my TV stating my line is terminated and no warning. Calling tech support (again spending 30min trying to get through) I sit for a good 20min while the support personnel try to save their own ass and pass the buck onto someone else.

Finally I am transferred to sales, which are adamant that unless a date is agreed upon already, it is standard procedure to cut the connection a month after the letter is received. Apparently completely ignoring anything that is actually written in the letter, alongside any agreements already made.
At this point my patience is getting somewhat thin, so I simply tell them to get my f**king crap back online if they want their money. A few hours later I can finally get online as well as watch TV again. I then ring their techie department specifically to arrange the pickup of my router and TV box from my rental agency.


Yesterday they called me. Again. Asking when I would be home so they could pick up their god-forsaken shit boxes. I told them to sod off and not call me again ever since things were already arranged.


If you are using UPC, prepare for more stress caused by UPC then by your entire family dying right in front of you if you ever try to cancel it and if you live in Ireland and are looking for a solid internet connection, stay the hell away from the company UPC.

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